Trudging through

Back living as a freshman in college in the Reeder Hall Dorm at Utah State on my fridge was a magnetic with the residents assistants name and number in case of an emergency.  Her name was January Butters.   What a name right?   It sounds more like an adjective phrase than anything to me and although it doesn't make a lot of sense I've felt like her name describes January.  Especially this one.  It butters.

This January has been a drudgery for me.   In addition to Bart's absence at Sundance he spent the week just prior to it in Vegas working and is off to Albuquerque for work all this week.  So it's been a very long month of single parenthood.

We initially tried to make it a fun month.    I took the kids ice skating.

The weather was all over the place with mostly rain/slush/snow mix but a couple of days it snowed enough to build snowmen and my kids enjoyed some time in the snow.  

I attempted to be a fun mom and got the kids out of the house on a No School Friday and took them to the Kangaroo Gym in Pleasant Grove.  Spencer was thrilled beyond measure to discover small basketball hoops with a ball in one of the blow ups.   He spend the greater part of an hour just shooting hoops by himself

It was all fun and games until I lost my footing climbing up one of the ladders and tore a bunch of ligaments in my "bad" foot.  Sarah wisely commented that I should realize I'm 40 now and it's really better to sit on the couch and watch my kids have fun.  I was afraid I might have damaged all the hardware in my toe.   After a few x-rays the Dr. told me everything looks in place and it was probably a bad sprain but there was a chance I could have torn a large ligament that would need to be surgically repaired in it doesn't heal.  She suggested I come back in a month if it still hurts and they would do a MRI.   Anxiety took hold when my toe woke me up throbbing at night with thoughts like "What if I need surgery again.   I'm way to busy and have too many people to take care of to stop my life for surgery and what about going to Italy in a month.  I have to be able to walk.  Why does this stupid foot have to continually be my nemesis".  It really got me down to put on my big black boot.    In my state of depression and anxiety I met with President Hilbig my previous Bishop and exemplary neighbor for my Temple recommend renewal from the stake presidency.  He asked like everyone else does about the boot and I told him the details and then he said.  "Like you have time for this being the YW president, mother of 4 kids and a job.  I laughed and said thanks for adding to my anxiety that I've been trying to fight off.  He then said I'm sorry I'll put your name in the temple the next time I go.   I don't know if he did but for some reason just those words calmed my troubled heart and gave me the needed extra strength and patience I've needed.

In addition Bart's lower back has been hurting him, Aaron dropped a marble rolling pin on his toe limped around for a couple of days.  After I brought out the Ace bandage it seemed to ease the hurt and he wrapped and rewrapped it around a cold pack for a couple of days.  Jane sprained her wrist slipping on the ice playing soccer at recess and is in sporting a sling this last week.  I guess I've needed a little sympathy pain. 

I hate being slowed down with a hurt foot.  It would be one thing if I was all alone.   I'd curl up on the couch for the rest of winter and do the prescribed RICE, rest, ice, compression and elevation.  I'd finish all the many episodes I have left on Dr. Quinn or perhaps start the 3rd season of "This is us" that is patiently waiting for me on my DVR.  But I have 4 kids who need a mom to keep running them from place to place as well as continually clean up my messy messy 2 year old  and have I mentioned Bart is MIA lately.  So no rest for the injured. 

On a positive note I had a nice birthday.   My mom, sisters and kids were thoughtful as ever to give me gifts.  I took my ministering sisters to a fireside about good mental health that was very calming and I didn't clean at all that day.  (I payed for the last one later  haha).  Pauline made me a yummy coconut cake for dessert the following day and Bart will soon hand over his Sundance money which makes him being gone all worth it in the end.

So I'll keep trudging along (slower than usual) awaiting the time I'm back to normal,  the sun will shine again the daylight will be longer each day and weather will be nice enough for my kids to release their energy outside.   Luckily we are on to February and there isn't much pain left in my toe so I'm almost certain I'll be back to normal soon.