Have Courage and be kind

Each Holiday Season comes and goes and I wonder if I did enough to teach my children the gift of giving instead of receiving.  I know I don't do enough but this year we started something new.

It began on Black Friday.  My girls persuaded me to take them to the mall to go Black Friday Shopping.  (They felt very left out when Bart and I escaped to Wal-mart Thurs night).    I've never been to the mall on Black Friday and boy was it packed.  Long lines but plenty of deals and we were there longer than expected.    So combine that experience with an early morning adventure to Home Depot (again my girls idea of fun because they serve Cocoa and donuts) Jane had been up way too long and was tired and hungry.   I suggest we stop by McDonald's and do my usual ( but only if you don't ask me for a Happy Meal speech)  which being tired and hungry sent Jane into one of her spells about the unfair life she lives etc.  Anger rose inside me and I ended up just driving home instead of stopping by Mickey D's.  Jane who now realizes she not only doesn't get a Happy Meal but doesn't get any McDonald's is inconsolable with feelings of being picked on.   Nothing I do or say is helping and I tell her enough go to your room and come back when you've calmed down.  She stomps away crying "I just want someone to be kind to me that's all".

A few mornings later I'm making me a lunch before heading off to work.  I take some turkey and notice there is enough left for one small sandwich.  Knowing if I put it back in the fridge it will probably get shoved behind or below something and won't emerge until who knows what is growing on it.  So I make Jane, the only kid in my house who will eat a turkey sandwich one.  In my house my girls make there own lunch for school.  I've got enough on my plate in the mornings and feel they are self sufficient enough to do it themselves and if they can't then there is always school lunch to fall back on.   I remembered her fit she through a few days back and decide to show Jane some "kindness".  I pack her a lunch complete with a note that says "Jane I packed you a lunch because I wanted to be kind to you".      Later that day I returned home a little later than usual because I was meeting with a parent after school and pulled in the driveway to discover Jane racking the leaves.  I commended her for helping without being asked and she said "I'm doing something kind for dad"  After she was finished  she wrote him the same note I gave her and put it where he places his laptop when he comes in the door.

Jane loved surprising her dad and I thought about how so many times in life we are less kind to those we love the most than complete strangers.  Maybe this Holiday doing "charity" to others could be right in our own house.

So I invented the kindness game for us to play all of December.  I printed off a bunch of these tags of kindness.

I added all of our names on the back of the tag and divided them up so each of us has 4 kindness tags for each person in the family and put them into an envelopes labelled with each of our names.  The point of the game is to pick one tag out each day and do an act of kindness for that person and leave the kindness sticker behind so that when found the person could guess who it was who did the kindness.     The first day of the game was a crazy Saturday where I found myself running from thing to thing.  Coming home from Emily's Viola lesson with a car load of groceries gearing up to make some soup for the ward Christmas party and I walked into the kitchen and found that the disaster of a kitchen was no more and a kindness sticker from Jane left on the counter.  Boy did that make my day!!
Some other acts of kindness
* Bart replacing all of the light bulbs that all blew out one day on our tall ceilings in the music room.
*Aaron loved it when I offered to tie his shoes one morning and told me I could use my kindness sticker for doing it.
*Jane was tickled pink to come home from school to find a chick fil meal just for her.
*Emily was relieved to see all of her clothes had been put away and her closet organized before she got home from school.
*Bart sort of appreciated but I was blown away and proud of my mini me when Jane spent a great deal of  time  thoughtfully reorganizing and labeling  his shelves where he keeps his clothes.
*Aaron cleaned Jane's room and made her bed one day
*Jane secretly and quickly cleaned out Emily's locker in the mud room.
*After Bart pulled Aaron's second tooth out he gave him a kindness sticker.
*Our Elf Zoey got really ambitious one night after the kids went to bed and scrubbed the kitchen/family room and left behind a kindness sticker for me
* Emily and Jane made me my very own cake on their first day of Winter Break and I was still working.
*Aaron swept and organized the garage one day while I took Emily to Viola lessons
*Emily made mine and Janes bed a couple of times
*Jane opted to stay home one evening instead of come along to take Emily to Symphony rehearsal and when we got back she had done something for everyone in the family including clean my room, clean Aaron's room, do the dishes and take in the trash for Bart.


I love how this game helped us all remember to show more kindness.  In speech therapy we often talk about if a skill we've taught someone has been generalized, meaning can the kid do it outside of therapy without any prompting.    I'm hoping this game gets generalized and my kids can see acts of kindness to do as well as appreciate  kindness from others.     Such as when Jane made and left this thank you note to our Elf Zoey on Christmas Eve before Zoey took off to the North Pole to stay until next December.

Gifts that make me cry

I'd say after being in the Richards Family for 15 years that Pauline's love language is giving acts of service.  I've appreciated it immensely especially when I've or my kids needed a little mending or hemming.   No matter the task she will always say yes and prompting fulfill my wishes. 

I've considered it the greatest gifts she given me.  In fact a couple years ago after my birthday she apologized sincerely for not getting me a present for my birthday and wanted to know what she could get for me.   I told her nothing she does enough for us and as long as I can bring my mending here I'm happy.  

A few years ago on Christmas Eve someone brought in a big box for Mary from Pauline.  It was very touching to see Mary get emotional about having a brand new sewing machine.  I was so happy for her but a little or a lot fearful that there would be a sewing machine brought in for me and I was trying to figure out how to "pretend" to like it.  I'm not good at lying.  What a relief that their was only a  present for Mary.   

Well this past Christmas Eve after the hoop la of the kids opening their pajamas Bart brought in a box and Pauline said "Collette you should open your present now".  I  looked at it and panicked that my nightmare had come true and I was getting a sewing machine.  I joked that I would probably cry like Mary did if it was a sewing machine but not for the same reason.    I did start crying a little as I opening the box because she gave me the greatest thing ever.  My very own steam cleaner.  

This isn't just any steam cleaner that you see advertised to do your floors.   It's so much more.  It will melt any sticky stuck on dirt away with just a simple swipe of a cloth.  Pauline has the same one at her house that I've been borrowing for years.    Every time I use it on my car, a high chair,  cabinet, baseboards or anything else crusty I have conversations in my head such as this.

"I wish Pauline lived closer I could borrow this more.   I should just buy one of these for myself.   There so expensive though.  Hmm... how can I save enough money for one.  Maybe I should forgo music lessons for one of my kids. "   Then I fill really guilty thinking of Emily without her Viola and I distract myself with other thoughts, finish my job, give the steam cleaner back and try to ignore my sticky high chair until I borrow it again.   

Another present that brought me to tears was this little box of ornaments given to me by my 96 year old Grandmother. 

Last year after she broke her leg and we went and visited her in the nursing home she was sitting in a chair quietly making some of these.   I thought too things.  You know you amongst a go getter when even in a nursing home at her lowest she is producing things.  I also thought I'd love to ask her if I could have some of those but didn't have the nerve to ask.     

So when I opened this box and saw 10 of them with this touching note my heart welled up inside knowing I get to keep a little more of her  at Christmas time even when she's no longer here.   So I'll add them to my other treasures she's made like these 2 stockings and 2 snowman wall hangings that I love to display at Christmas time.

Christmas 2017

Christmas came and went in a flash.   We started out our annual pizza and Pajama parties with the kids decorating cookies for Santa.

After a delicious meal and some Christmas caroling at the church, papa brought out his 12 days of Christmas game.

Then onto opening their pajamas.

Christmas morning produces many smiles.

Spencer found the half eaten left over Santa cookies and decided to help himself.

The girls spent most of their spare time in December making homemade presents like this 

Run Run as fast as you can....

I've felt a lot like the Gingerbread man this Christmas season..........    I'm in the season of my life being full.  Like the tub is about to overflow full.   I'm busy yet able to manage until extra curricular stuff gets thrown it and then I feel like I might lose my mind.    This is how my December has been and boy has it flown by.... Here's a look at it some of the extra things added in besides all my kids regularly scheduled activities and working.

Dec 1:  My bookclub met for dinner at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building...

Dec. 2:  After weeks of begging I finally have a minute to take my girls and Spencer to the Harry Potter store at the South Town Mall.

Later that night, I win the ugliest sweater award at my Ward Christmas party.  I got a very lovely Cinderella trophy that all my kids thought was fantastic.  While listening to the remainder of the program Spencer grabbed it and threw it across the floor and it shattered.  Both of the girls were heartbroken that the trophy wasn't going to make it home.  On the way home when I told them I had to throw it away Jane said "Mom you should have known to not let Spencer play with it"  Emily said  "Yeah mom your always telling us to think about the consequence why didn't you?"

Dec 5:  Pauline treated me with a ticket to the  Broadway Play "Bodyguard"

Dec. 9:  Emily and I make some homemade ornaments for her music teachers and my mom.

Dec. 10:  I discover that Picaboo sent me by accident 30 extra Christmas Cards of my family.   Envelopes are not included so what to do with them.  Well I decide to expand my neighborhood/ward gifts to just about everyone we know and I end up making over 100 loaves of banana, zucchini, and pumpkin bread.    Haha I love when I get all ambitious and then half way through think "what have I done?"   In the middle of the mess the kids decide it's the best time to decorate our Gingerbread house the Elf left the night before.

Here's a small portion of the bread

Dec. 11:  Feeling  in over my head and after a few trips back and forth to the store I finally finish up all the neighborhood gifts just in time to run Emily to symphony, stop by the Draper Candy Cane hunt to meet with Santa, the firemen that brought him there and roast some marshmallows.

Afterwards we run back to get Emily. We then divide up the goodies and Emily and I take half before heading off to her Viola lesson.  In passing I give Bart the other half and he takes Jane to deliver the rest  and "whew" the bread is delivered.   Hallelujah for my helpful kids!!!  Big sigh of relief that's checked off my list.

Dec. 12:  I learn my lesson to never deliver goodies to the Bishopric because I get called that evening to speak in Sacrament the following Sunday.   I tell Bart of my assignment at dinnertime and says "You or both of us and I say just me and he says Oh lovely".   I curse him for his gloating remarks.

Dec 14:  My curse if fulfilled.  Bart is called that Evening to speak in Sacrament in a couple of days because the speaker cancelled.   Ally arrives with her family come in for the weekend!!    We load up and drive through the Christmas in Color lights at the South Jordan Equestrian Center.

Dec 15:  My Mom, all of us sisters,  my niece Belle and Ty's wife Cheyanne have a girls night out.  We eat at Kneaders at City Creek and then go the the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Christmas concert.

Dec 16:  John invites us to join him for an early morning showing of Star Wars at the Jordan Common's theater.  My kids and Bart loved the free donuts and chocolate milk.

 After the movie we rush off to join my family for the annual Pace family Christmas party. Lots of yummy food,  the annual talent show, a surprise visit from Santa and a cousin gift exchange.

Santa:  What would you like for Christmas?
Aaron:  A thousand candy canes

Dec. 17:  Bart and I give our talks in Sacrament.


Dec 18:  Aaron has his preschool Christmas program at the Draper theater.   He made the cutest drummer boy!!

We then go with Ally's family to look at the Elf displays at Gardner Village.

Dec. 21-  Bart and I go to our neighborhood white elephant party.    A night full of big belly laughs as everyone tries to avoid picking the stuffed boars head.  Bishop Simpkins was the unlucky one  this year.

This might look like his belly but it's really a fanny pack.  So gross!!

Dec. 23-  Bart takes these 3 ice skating while Spencer sleeps and I do a lot of wrapping

Later that day Bart is busy making ice cream cake rolls for his home teaching family and Spencer, fighting a cold, just wants his daddy.  My other kids are wound up excited for Christmas so I load all of them into the car to drive around looking for Christmas light displays.  We end up not far from our house watching a light and music show.  Spencer then discovers the Santa in the window and being his friendly self waves to him the entire time saying "ho ho ho"  (his name for Santa.)

We have a lift a flap fisher price book I've been reading my kids for years.   I read it to Spencer and realize the first page sums up this December for me.

"Christmastime is getting close.
We have so much to do!
Wrapping gifts and having fun
with friends and family, too!"


Dec 24- It's early in the morning and I'm sitting in front of my glorious tree, glad the rigmarole is over and I can enjoy a relaxing day and breath in the joy and the reason for the season.   So blessed to have a full life with so many loving family and friends to share it with!!